March 20 - Can I Get a Witness?

Wow. The miracles that happen to me never cease. Today, a frail elderly woman named Janet came to my door. She had had a fistful of pamphlets with names like "Awake!" and "the Watchtower" in one hand, and a small portfolio in the other.
She came to me to tell me about The Bible. She came to tell me about Jehovah.
I had been playing various Atari games for nearly two hours already, so my eyes were getting a bit fuzzy. Due to my level of restlessness, I decided it was high time I was saved.
Janet and I actually talked for quite a bit. I talked about my belief in a prime mover, but my problems with Jesus and the Bible being subjects of God. She immediately led me through countless passages of Acts, and Genesis, and the four Gospels, and told me of the consequences of blasphemy.
I have to admit it, though. I respect Jehovah's Witnesses and Atheists more than most Christians, because (for the most part) they have actually read the Book of books , not just blindly followed God. I think it stems from a good neighbor of mine, Lorrine Hood, who was also a witness and spent a great deal of time reading the Bible while she baby-sat me during morning hours. Mom would have to go to school (she was a teacher) no later than seven in the morning. I didn't have to be at school until nine.
Anyway, I invited Janet into my house, we sat on the couch, and we talked for a great wile about God, the Bible, Jehovah's Witnesses, and the history of man (and spider).

March 19 - A Cheer

SPENCER! SPENCER!
Cute arachnid
Eats Crickets, ants and Katydids.
SPENCER! SPENCER!
He's our pet.
There's no cricket faster yet.
SPENCER! SPENCER!
Spoils of our excess.
SPENCER! SPENCER!
I digress.

March 18 - Comparisons

Michelle.
She has glistengold eyes, brown and hazel. Her voice is soft and tinted with some backwoods, but still soft and lilting.
Spencer.
He had eight legs, eight eyes, two fangs, and rose-brown hair. I could pet him on the head, but he doesn't seem too fond of being a surrogate puppy.
As we pondered our impending purchase, no one had really been brave enough to hold the spider except the guy who fetched the spider and Aly.
Aly let the tarantula crawl up her arm until it reached her shoulder. Her face stretched away from the big bug as she looked to the sales clerk for assistance. The clerk carefully pulled the spider from his roost upon her shoulder and rested him in his hand.
As we stood there watching the tarantula sitting there watching us, Michelle played with the idea of letting a big hairy insect crawl on her arm. As soon as she agreed, the other salesclerk sat him in her open hand. She quickly withdrew the offer and suddenly, I wondered if she had a curiosity for the spider or me (wishful thinking, I guess). She decided not to touch the spider. Me neither.
The other clerk (Rick) tucked Spencer into his little "carry-out" box, which had three holes on either side. All five of us peered into the holes at the spider and then I looked up at Michelle. She returned the glance, even smiling a little.
After paying, I picked up Spencer while Hair picked up the Aquarium and all of its accessories. Aly took care of the cricket cup.
After we left the store, the ever-observant Hair realized my real take in this new pet. Spiders get all the cool girls.

March 17 - Blarney

Spencer had taken a liking to the sandstone. It was his little perch where he could soak up lamplight and wait for stray crickets to fall like Chicken Little's sky and land in his square foot of desert, where he could snatch them up in his fangs and fill his appetite.
Speaking of spiders and meals:
Our furry friend seems to have become somewhat accustomed to his new surroundings. For the first two days, he moved very little without some form of being antagonized, whether it was a squirt with the misting bottle, a cricket on the head, or a puff of hot breath in his face.
One unlucky cricket stumbled into Spencer's spinnerets. Reacting to being goosed, Spencer quickly jumped several inches in the air (SPROING!), turned around, and immediately sank his fangs into the perpetrator.
For no other reason than bringing up conversation about a date, it was time to head to Jack's to see Michelle so I grabbed a bunch of laundry and dumped them off at the Laundromat, then went in to Jack's. Rick (the first to touch the spider) was at the front counter. Before I said a word, he gestured to the back of the store, near the dog cages.
Michelle was there, filling dog and cat bowls with food.
"Hey, how's your spider?" she asked.
"Oh, he's fine. What are you doing after work?"
"Nothing, really."
"Would you like to go out for dinner?"
"I don't get off for another hour."
"Oh, that's okay."
"Sure, I'd love to."
"You like Chinese?"
"I love it."
"China Dragon?"
"Yeah, but there's one problem."
"What is that?"
"I have a boyfriend."
The conversation reached a stopping point. Then I carelessly invited him along, too. She laughed and said, "Well, maybe it's better if we don't go out."
The more I look back at that moment, the more I think the conversation should have gone like this:
"Hey, how's your spider?" she asked.
"Oh, he's fine. What are you doing after work?"
"I have a boyfriend."
"You like Chinese?"
"I have a boyfriend."
"China Dragon?"
"I have a boyfriend."
"Well, maybe some other time?"
"I have a boyfriend."
"Alright, you have a nice day then."
"I have a boyfriend."
But it didn't go like that at all. In fact, I found it quite miserable.
I quickly put my tail between my legs , stopped at China Dragon and took my Moo Goo Gai Pan and my sorry self home. Good ole Spencer was still on his perch, waiting to launch into yet another cricket in the middle of the night so I could delight in the sounds of a cricket's life literally grinding to a halt while I tried to sleep. It was okay, though. I knew he wouldn't ever reject me for a dinner date.
I sat in front of the television, beside the spider, and enjoyed dinner. Alone.